Why Proverbs 31 Isn't Just for Married Women

You know, it stunned me that I could possibly feel like a third-wheel while reading the Bible, but it actually happened the other day.

I've been doing a study on Proverbs 31 called "Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman" by Elizabeth George. The study is beautiful and fantastic, and I am learning more than I have about this short, yet rich passage.
However, despite the beauty and practicality of this passage, I found myself discouraged.
Everything I read seemed to be focused on a married woman. A wife. A mother.
A woman who had already established her position in a home.
Overall, I could tell that George tried to include every woman in the study, but despite her efforts, the passage itself focused on what it would focus on.

"Well that's great. Even the Bible is leaving me out. How am I supposed to know how to be a godly woman if all of the information I'm given is solely for a married woman? I'm not married, so this isn't even practical to me."
Those were my thoughts, but I realize now how completely false and dangerous those thoughts were.

So I'm not married. Big deal. The Bible doesn't say you need to be married to live a godly life focused on serving the LORD.
In fact, Paul, the most famous missionary of all time, was unmarried, and I can guarantee that not all women of the early churches were married. That's simply not realistic.
It is an absolute lie to believe that as a woman, I lack purpose if I'm unmarried or that I simply cannot be a "woman of virtue" without a family to "be virtuous to."
Being a woman of virtue doesn't happen over night, and it doesn't happen the moment you get married. In fact, if my sources (many of my married friends) are correct, once married, it's even harder to change bad habits and adjust flawed mentalities.
Proverbs 31 is not just a guide to get out of bad habits as a current wife, but rather it is a chance to become a woman of virtue before a marriage begins, establishing godly mentalities and habits prior to the commitment of marriage.
That's not to say that one who learns of Proverbs 31 after they are already married cannot become this sort of woman of virtue, but I do believe it is much easier to begin godly characteristics from the start rather than have to change out of ungodly characteristics.

In a way, these sort of passages are here to protect us from danger and guide us onto the path worth following. The Bible does not seek to leave us out but rather to prepare us for the coming stage.
It won't be easy to become the woman that is described in this passage, but at least I have the time to learn and grow.

I'm not married, but I'm not ready to be, which I so brutally learned from this passage.
There's a long ways to go before I become the woman that is described in Proverbs 31, and I'm thankful for the time God has given to me to reach that point.

How to 3rd Wheel in Style

If you've ever felt like a third wheel, fear not! You are not alone. "3rd-wheeling," as I affectionately call it, sort of holds a negative reputation. And honestly, I don't blame people for buying into the idea that is impossible to have friends who are dating or married.
I mean, I believed it too. All year long. Ok, maybe my whole life.
The point is, it is possible to have a good time while 3rd-wheeling.
However, this skill must be learned.

So although you may have this extremely painful mental image when I mention the term "third wheel," let's try for a second to push that stereotype out of the mind and attempt to appear in a fresh field of poppies.

There we go. Now we can officially start.

Friends, 3rd-wheeling doesn't have to be a trip on a greyhound bus.
It can be a joyride in a red convertible.

In fact, 3rd-wheeling can be pretty enjoyable if done right. Take it from a girl who has her honorary doctorate in the field of 3rd-wheeling. I even almost accomplished 5th-wheeling (this one takes a little bit more concentration and tact).....

See the girl on the left? That's my best friend.
See the guy on the right? That's my other good friend.
They're dating. I was the matchmaker.

See that person in the middle? That's me.

This, my friends, is the portrait epitomizing the art of 3rd-wheeling.
It is, in fact, an art.

Honestly, it's not like any typical art form such as painting, dancing or acting, but it does share one quality as the previously mentioned: it all stems from the mind.
If you think you're having a bad time, then you will.
If you think it's going to be awkward, it will be.
If you think you don't matter, you won't.

Really, the issue is, attitude.  (which I typically find to be the key to almost everything).

Now, most people that would see that picture would laugh. Or maybe pity me. I would prefer you to laugh. Because it is funny. I'm sitting there cheezing in the background.
Do you know why I'm cheezing?
Because I had fun with these two.
Because I love that my friends are happy together.
Because I am assured that they both will take care of each other.
Because God has allowed them to have a relationship that is glorifying to Him.
Because I love that God allowed me to be a part of it.

I'm cheezing because God has blessed them and, by association, I am blessed as well! Their relationship is a blessing to me.

Hey look! We're all cheezing!

That's the thing, friends.  
Other people's joys should be the LAST thing to make us miserable.
It's one thing if the couple is awkward and inappropriate (oh, don't you worry, I have many words for those couples...), but it's another thing when you just have friends who simply are moving onto a different stage of life and have been called by God in that direction.

Who are we to complain about other people's blessings?
We are overlooking the example that the godly couples are setting for us. If you have those unawkward, godly couples in your life- thank them. Don't scorn them for their joy.

Also, have fun with 3rd-wheeling! If they aren't on a date, then join them ;]. They still need other friends too! Adventures are most definitely more fun in groups.
Also, you get to be awarded with capturing some pretty awesome moments for these folks.

 

Photo props to Heather for this picture

Let's face it, folks-- it's not really about us. Even though we always think it is, it's not.
Be a blessing to someone else for a change and as a result, blessings will come.

Let others be joyful, and jump on the joy ride. God provides true joy, so don't let the awkward 3rd-wheel stereotype stifle the godly relationships around you.



For a short anecdote I wrote about a year and a half ago on being a 3rd wheel, click here.