Why Proverbs 31 Isn't Just for Married Women

You know, it stunned me that I could possibly feel like a third-wheel while reading the Bible, but it actually happened the other day.

I've been doing a study on Proverbs 31 called "Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman" by Elizabeth George. The study is beautiful and fantastic, and I am learning more than I have about this short, yet rich passage.
However, despite the beauty and practicality of this passage, I found myself discouraged.
Everything I read seemed to be focused on a married woman. A wife. A mother.
A woman who had already established her position in a home.
Overall, I could tell that George tried to include every woman in the study, but despite her efforts, the passage itself focused on what it would focus on.

"Well that's great. Even the Bible is leaving me out. How am I supposed to know how to be a godly woman if all of the information I'm given is solely for a married woman? I'm not married, so this isn't even practical to me."
Those were my thoughts, but I realize now how completely false and dangerous those thoughts were.

So I'm not married. Big deal. The Bible doesn't say you need to be married to live a godly life focused on serving the LORD.
In fact, Paul, the most famous missionary of all time, was unmarried, and I can guarantee that not all women of the early churches were married. That's simply not realistic.
It is an absolute lie to believe that as a woman, I lack purpose if I'm unmarried or that I simply cannot be a "woman of virtue" without a family to "be virtuous to."
Being a woman of virtue doesn't happen over night, and it doesn't happen the moment you get married. In fact, if my sources (many of my married friends) are correct, once married, it's even harder to change bad habits and adjust flawed mentalities.
Proverbs 31 is not just a guide to get out of bad habits as a current wife, but rather it is a chance to become a woman of virtue before a marriage begins, establishing godly mentalities and habits prior to the commitment of marriage.
That's not to say that one who learns of Proverbs 31 after they are already married cannot become this sort of woman of virtue, but I do believe it is much easier to begin godly characteristics from the start rather than have to change out of ungodly characteristics.

In a way, these sort of passages are here to protect us from danger and guide us onto the path worth following. The Bible does not seek to leave us out but rather to prepare us for the coming stage.
It won't be easy to become the woman that is described in this passage, but at least I have the time to learn and grow.

I'm not married, but I'm not ready to be, which I so brutally learned from this passage.
There's a long ways to go before I become the woman that is described in Proverbs 31, and I'm thankful for the time God has given to me to reach that point.

Five Times a Bridesmaid: Lies I Have Believed

Next weekend, I will be in my 5th wedding. That's not to say that I haven't been to many, many more weddings. Five is only the number that I have happened to have been a bridesmaid/maid of honor in. It was fun the first few times, especially when I was younger. 
Don't misunderstand me, I am always so happy for the couple on their wedding day-- their faces glow and they're in their own land of bliss. It's sweet and precious, and I'm glad they're experiencing that.

However, I feel like the "always a bridesmaid" concept has simply fed the fire of lies that I tend to believe as a single female. Lies that I probably will continue to fight even beyond my singleness. Lies that I must fight against daily with God's strength.

So, if you're anything like me, you believe lies.
Why do we believe these lies?
Maybe it's because we are weak, failing to recognize our identity in Christ.
Maybe it's because we enjoy copping out, and simply use the lies as excuses to be lazy.
Maybe it's because we don't surround ourselves with Truth, that is, God's Word.
Or maybe it could be that we simply don't even recognize them as lies.

Whatever the reason, the issue is that we are telling ourselves LIES.
Clips from the world, clips from culture, clips from ourselves.. all meshed together to form the lies that prohibit us from embracing our lives for everything they are.

Here are a few lies I have to remind myself not to believe:

1. Nobody wants me.
   That sounds extreme and maybe ridiculous, but this is one of the most commonly believed lies in my life. I tell myself that if I'm still single, that must mean I'm undesirable.
   "Nobody has chosen me."
   Well, friends, I can tell you right now, that the LORD has dubbed this "LIE."
   Why? Because He has made it clear THROUGHOUT His Word how much He truly loves me. It honestly brings tears to my eyes. Beyond the fact that there are human beings who do love me (despite my buying into the falsehoods that say otherwise), I have the affections of the One who truly knows love- my Creator. Even if I do have a loving family and loving friends-- even if I were to have a man that "wanted" me-- that really isn't the full measure of love. As I discussed in one of my other blogs, Jesus Christ is the Creator of LOVE, and love received from all other human beings has simply been "hand-me-down love." It's still a beautiful thing to be loved by humans, but nothing compares to the Love of God.
2. I will always be a bridesmaid.
   I've realized recently that most lies we believe are pretty bizarre when we really think about them. Nonetheless, it's there.
   That fear that we'll always just "be there." No significant role, just existent. That is one of my largest fears. To just "exist." And one lie I constantly swallow is that this idea is a reality. That my existence is meaningless.
   Here's where it gets tricky. Though not true in regards to being a child of God and being given purpose for His kingdom, it is however true, in that, it's not about me. We're not the main characters, we're just supporting roles. We are just subplots.
   To Jesus Christ, I'm not just the bridesmaid. I'm His bride. A bride that He believed was worth sacrificing Himself for. But this story isn't about the bride- it's about the groom.
   It's about His heroic actions, His selfless sacrifice, His fearless conquering, His beautiful return.
3. If my friends are getting married now, that means I should be too.
   I've already written a whole post about this, so you can read that here if you are interested in hearing more about that.
4. If I'm still single, I'm failing to meet the world's timeline.
   Although the world does not encourage marriage- in fact, many think it's old fashioned and meaningless- they do encourage relationships. All sorts of interesting relationships, whether Biblical or not. "Just find someone who makes you happy." (Ok, that's not a bad thing, but it is when morality is compromised and God's Word is ignored.) 
   I'm 21, and, by the world's standards, I should have a boyfriend right now. If I don't have a boyfriend, I should at least be flirting with guys and doing what I want when I want.
   Well, according to the world, I'm failing. I don't go flirt with random guys. I don't just pursue guys because I want to or because I can. To the world, I am a failure of a female. I'm not conquering my independence, single or not, and to the world, I'm not taking advantage of my womanhood.
   Well world, I'd rather fail on your standards than fail on God's. I guess the whole "I'm failing the world" idea is not really a lie but rather a seemingly negative truth. In reality, this is a truth that might be difficult to swallow but necessary in order to maintain a holy relationship with God. It's something that I need to realize is positive. I need to unbrainwash myself from the world.
5. I'm behind in life.
   I find myself not only believing this, but also rushing myself through life and missing opportunities along the way. Instead of taking every moment, every circumstance, every point in my life and running with them, I get distracted and try to catch up with a non-existent expectation. An expectation that no one has really set for me except myself. The expectation that says, "I am supposed to be at this specific point in my life in order to be successful."
   The reality is, this lie causes me to miss beautiful moments. Beautiful moments I still regret missing. Beautiful moments that could have been incredible memories and experiences.
   Friends, this IS where I am in life. I can't be behind. This is my life. Right now.
   I must eradicate this lie completely, or I will miss my life.

Those are just a few of the lies, but definitely prevalent ones.
What are some lies you are believing?