Why Proverbs 31 Isn't Just for Married Women

You know, it stunned me that I could possibly feel like a third-wheel while reading the Bible, but it actually happened the other day.

I've been doing a study on Proverbs 31 called "Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman" by Elizabeth George. The study is beautiful and fantastic, and I am learning more than I have about this short, yet rich passage.
However, despite the beauty and practicality of this passage, I found myself discouraged.
Everything I read seemed to be focused on a married woman. A wife. A mother.
A woman who had already established her position in a home.
Overall, I could tell that George tried to include every woman in the study, but despite her efforts, the passage itself focused on what it would focus on.

"Well that's great. Even the Bible is leaving me out. How am I supposed to know how to be a godly woman if all of the information I'm given is solely for a married woman? I'm not married, so this isn't even practical to me."
Those were my thoughts, but I realize now how completely false and dangerous those thoughts were.

So I'm not married. Big deal. The Bible doesn't say you need to be married to live a godly life focused on serving the LORD.
In fact, Paul, the most famous missionary of all time, was unmarried, and I can guarantee that not all women of the early churches were married. That's simply not realistic.
It is an absolute lie to believe that as a woman, I lack purpose if I'm unmarried or that I simply cannot be a "woman of virtue" without a family to "be virtuous to."
Being a woman of virtue doesn't happen over night, and it doesn't happen the moment you get married. In fact, if my sources (many of my married friends) are correct, once married, it's even harder to change bad habits and adjust flawed mentalities.
Proverbs 31 is not just a guide to get out of bad habits as a current wife, but rather it is a chance to become a woman of virtue before a marriage begins, establishing godly mentalities and habits prior to the commitment of marriage.
That's not to say that one who learns of Proverbs 31 after they are already married cannot become this sort of woman of virtue, but I do believe it is much easier to begin godly characteristics from the start rather than have to change out of ungodly characteristics.

In a way, these sort of passages are here to protect us from danger and guide us onto the path worth following. The Bible does not seek to leave us out but rather to prepare us for the coming stage.
It won't be easy to become the woman that is described in this passage, but at least I have the time to learn and grow.

I'm not married, but I'm not ready to be, which I so brutally learned from this passage.
There's a long ways to go before I become the woman that is described in Proverbs 31, and I'm thankful for the time God has given to me to reach that point.

Remembering the Good Days

Some days will be harder than others.

When those hard days come, just remind yourself that every stage has its hard days.
For the single, the hard days might feel lonely.
For the dating, the hard days might feel stifling.
For the married, the hard days might feel overwhelming with responsibility.

Each stage has its struggles, and each stage has its blessings.

The trick is, on the hard days, remember the struggles of the other stages and remember the blessings of singleness. Remember what makes the good days good and remember what you like about being single.

Typical perspective:
"Everyone else MUST be happier than me. Look at that couple.. they're so happy! That's the ideal lifestyle. That's where I have to get to be happy."
...Flawed perspective.
That's what that is.

No life is perfect, and, despite popular belief, relationships are not the source of happiness.
In fact, there are people in relationships right this very moment as we speak who are envying single people, envying YOU, wishing they had the same type of freedoms as the single.
That's not to say that marriage isn't a beautiful, God-ordained institution, but that doesn't mean it is the measure of fulfillment.
Abiding in God's will is the source of joy and fulfillment. 
If they are in God's will, then that is the source of their joy.
If you are in God's will, then that is the source of your joy.

Like I said before, remember what you like about being single and what about it brings you joy.

For me, I remember that I am freer to serve in other, less restricted ways.
I don't have a man to have to be a support to right now, and I don't have children to raise.
Right now, my attention is solely on using my abilities and talents to serve God, spread Jesus and minister to others.
That's it.
I mean, I love and care for my family and friends, but the only human being I am currently officially responsible for is myself.
It keeps doors open.
It makes things simple.

Someday, God may give me those added responsibilities, but until then, I am free to minister in a career, free to minister on my own, free to minister to my family and free to focus on my own personal growth without those extra aspects of life.
All of those things are helping to build a foundation for me, showing me who I need to be in Christ before I can effectively be anything to anyone else (a wife, friend, helper, mother, etc.),
For that, I am thankful.

Simplicity.
That's my favorite thing about being single.
And, for me, that's what makes the good days, good days.

Stewarding Singleness

The LORD has been teaching me a lot about what it means to be a "good steward."
Maybe that seems irrelevant, but let me explain.

In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the talents (which, according to dictionary.com is, before the year 900, "a balance, weight, monetary unit").

In this parable, a man (representing the Lord) goes on a journey, and he "called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability." (vs. 14 & 15)
  
Notice the phrase "his goods" is in bold. 
Why? Because this represents that everything we have (whether ability, circumstance, opportunity, talent, skill.. whatever) is God's.  
We are simply given the opportunity to be stewards of them.
So the amount of responsibility we can handle, so the amount God gives us.
("each according to his own ability").

As the story goes on, the servants who had five and two talents invested what was given to them and from the amount given to them, produced profit. However, the man with one talent simply hid the talent, making no use of it at all. (vs 17 & 18) 

The man came back to see what the servants had done with what they were given, and to the first two men he said, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’ (vs 20-23)
Unfortunately, here's what the servant with the one talent said to his master:
‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’ (vs. 24-25)

To which the master responds 
‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest....’

Now, ok. I realize, if you read on, this passage is specifically talking about believers taking ownership of their faith, and the result of people refusing to accept what Christ has done for them and invest their lives into it. Or something to that affect.. I'm honestly not entirely sure (sorry for my lack of theological training). Either way, it is not my intention to take it out of context, by any means.

I do, however, want to draw out a parallel here, showing you how God has recently used this passage in my life. 

In every believer's life, there are God-given responsibilities.
In our case, being single is the responsibility God has given us.
During this point of our lives, it is what God has called us to do.
The question is, are we being good stewards of our singleness?
God has kept us single for a reason-- we have tasks to do that we can only accomplish as single people. Well, are we doing them?

If we aren't good stewards of what God has given us as single people, we won't be good stewards of what God gives us while in a relationship. I believe that relationships are an extra lump of responsibility thrown into the mix which God blesses individuals with once they have been good stewards of what He has already given them. 

If we aren't good stewards with our money while single, we won't be while married.
If we aren't good stewards with our time, we won't be while we married.  
If we aren't good stewards with our talents, we won't be while married.
If we aren't good stewards with our spiritual gifts, we won't be while married.
If we aren't good stewards with our relationships, we definitely won't be while married.

Singleness is the time to develop what God has given us so that someday, we will be ready for more God-granted responsibility. 
Don't waste your singleness.