If you're like me, about 90% of your friends are either in a serious relationship, engaged or married and having babies. The "having babies" stage has not really eaten many of my friends yet, but give it about a year or two. It will happen.
If you're even more like me, almost all of the folks around your age fit into the 90% (disclaimer: this is a completely made up statistic), leading to the "unrealistic expectation bandwagon" at your local church or with your mutual friends/Christians....
Me: "I'm actually happy being single right now! Praise Jesus!"
...a week later...
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Oh. I see 'so-and-so' just got engaged. You're next, eh? *wink wink*"
Me: "Oh, hahah, no I'm still single... so it will be a little while. Also, I'm not Canadian so I don't say eh."
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Wait.. you mean, you didn't find anyone at that big Christian school you go to yet? You've been there HOW MANY years? And there are HOW MANY students there? What on earth have you been doing there this whole time?"
Me: "....getting an education?"
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Wow. You've been slacking."
I'm not sure if that sounds familiar.
I suppose my question is, why is it that just because everyone else is getting engaged right this very second, that I need to be engaged right this very second?
What makes people think that God's will for them is the same as God's will for me?
I am not "those people," and I have no desire to be.
I am who God created me to be, and I am meant to follow the path that God leads me down.
Just because Susie-Q is having a June wedding at the church we all grew up in does not mean that I am immediately obligated to find "that special person" and then marry them that very same June. I'm sorry, but no.
....This may be one of the saltier posts, but I have a point (I promise).
Just because there are expectations, does not mean they are godly ones. To feel the need to "find a person" because of your environment, family, friends, society, etc. is incredibly flawed and will probably end in misery.
People's expectations are empty, because people don't know you the way God knows you.
People don't know my God-given talents the way the God who gave them to me does.
They don't know what's best for me the way my Heavenly Father does.
They don't know what my life will look like the way my Savior does.
They don't know what the LORD is doing in my life.
They don't know what He WILL do in my life.
People don't know.
I don't even know.
So before the heat of expectations get to me, I must remember Who actually KNOWS me and ask myself if I trust Him enough (or am I trusting people.. or myself.. instead) to let Him do His thing in my life.
I'm not a math wiz, but here are some simple equations to remember....
(≠ means "not equal to," in case you're even worse at math than I am)
Basically,
comparison = misery.
If you're even more like me, almost all of the folks around your age fit into the 90% (disclaimer: this is a completely made up statistic), leading to the "unrealistic expectation bandwagon" at your local church or with your mutual friends/Christians....
Me: "I'm actually happy being single right now! Praise Jesus!"
...a week later...
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Oh. I see 'so-and-so' just got engaged. You're next, eh? *wink wink*"
Me: "Oh, hahah, no I'm still single... so it will be a little while. Also, I'm not Canadian so I don't say eh."
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Wait.. you mean, you didn't find anyone at that big Christian school you go to yet? You've been there HOW MANY years? And there are HOW MANY students there? What on earth have you been doing there this whole time?"
Me: "....getting an education?"
Church Folk in their 60-somethings +: "Wow. You've been slacking."
I'm not sure if that sounds familiar.
I suppose my question is, why is it that just because everyone else is getting engaged right this very second, that I need to be engaged right this very second?
What makes people think that God's will for them is the same as God's will for me?
I am not "those people," and I have no desire to be.
I am who God created me to be, and I am meant to follow the path that God leads me down.
Just because Susie-Q is having a June wedding at the church we all grew up in does not mean that I am immediately obligated to find "that special person" and then marry them that very same June. I'm sorry, but no.
....This may be one of the saltier posts, but I have a point (I promise).
Just because there are expectations, does not mean they are godly ones. To feel the need to "find a person" because of your environment, family, friends, society, etc. is incredibly flawed and will probably end in misery.
People's expectations are empty, because people don't know you the way God knows you.
People don't know my God-given talents the way the God who gave them to me does.
They don't know what's best for me the way my Heavenly Father does.
They don't know what my life will look like the way my Savior does.
They don't know what the LORD is doing in my life.
They don't know what He WILL do in my life.
People don't know.
I don't even know.
So before the heat of expectations get to me, I must remember Who actually KNOWS me and ask myself if I trust Him enough (or am I trusting people.. or myself.. instead) to let Him do His thing in my life.
I'm not a math wiz, but here are some simple equations to remember....
(≠ means "not equal to," in case you're even worse at math than I am)
My life ≠ someone else's life.
God's will for my life ≠ God's will for someone else's life.
People's plan for me ≠ God's plan for me
My plan for myself ≠ God's plan for me
My plan for myself ≠ God's plan for me
My spiritual gifts ≠ My brother/sister in Christ's spiritual gifts
My callings from God ≠ My brother/sister in Christ's callings from God
Areas of growth I need ≠ Areas of growth they need
Singleness ≠ Failure.
Being in a Relationship ≠ Success.
Basically,
comparison = misery.
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