Naturally Relational

Why do so many individuals have a hard time being single? Is it ok to be sad about it? Is it normal?

If you follow my posts at all, I'm guessing you probably have asked yourselves these questions or at least ones similar to them. 

I often find myself feeling guilty that I feel lonely. I wonder if I am truly content with my relationship with God... if my desire for a relationship is negative or sinful. If it is contrary to God's will to feel that way. After thinking about these questions and discussing the topic with others who I respect, I have realized the flawed nature of this guilt. 

I know that right now, I am exactly where God wants me. Singleness is His will for me right now, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am content in His will, and He gives me His peace when I obey what He has called me to do.

However, that does not mean I am not relational. It does not mean that God wills for me to be alone all the time. It does not mean that He is calling me to live in singleness my whole life. 

It also doesn't mean that it's wrong for me to feel sad when those relational needs are not being met.

1. God created us from the beginning as relational creatures.   

^{(GENESIS 2:18-22)}  

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” ¹⁹ Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.²¹ And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 

2. God is relational and seeks for us to have a relationship with Him.

God gives us the opportunity to know Him, thanks to His Son, Jesus Christ, interceding on our behalf. As it says in Acts 17:27 that "He is not far from each one of us." The LORD makes Himself available, because He wants a relationship with us. He is relational.

^{(ACTS 17:24-28)} 

 “God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. ²⁵ Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things.²⁶ And He has made from one blood^[c] every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, ²⁷ so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; ²⁸ for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’

3. Jesus was relational.

Over and over and over again throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus ministering to people and spending time with people. In the only account we have about Jesus as a child, He is spending time with and discussing Biblical issues with religious leaders.

^{(LUKE 2:46-47)} 

Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. ⁴⁷ And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers.

His first miracle was done while He was with His mother and His disciples at a wedding.

(JOHN 2:1) 

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. ² Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding.

He spent time teaching people, healed the sick, ate with both religious leaders and sinners, spent time with 12 specific individuals throughout His whole ministry, cared for His mother as He was dying on the cross, loved and cared for children, and the list goes on and on...

4. The Trinity is relational with each other. 

I'm just going to go ahead and direct you to this page--> Answers in Genesis speaks on the topic of the Trinity, and about halfway through, they discuss the relationship between God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.


As you can see, we serve a relational God who created us relationally. From this, I am learning that is absolutely healthy to seek relationships. It's ok for me to desire to someday be married. It's ok, because it's normal. It's ok, because we were created that way.

However, marriage/romantic relationships are NOT the only relationships that exist. 
God has placed people in my life, and He has placed them strategically. Whether that means my parents, a hall full of college girls, children at my church, elderly folks at a nursing home, my nephew or a man, the people in my life are not there accidentally.
Whatever the type of relationship, God calls us to live relationally and to spend our time glorifying God and serving people. The longing for people doesn't mean that I only long for a romantic relationship. The LORD knows that my desire is that the relationships in my life that bring the most glory to God  are the ones that flourish and grow. God knows which relationships will be most meaningful at this time in my life, and I trust Him with those relationships.

It's ok to desire specific types of relationships. The key is to not miss the relationships that God has placed in our lives right now.